recovering from a breakup with a borderline exgf?

[ENJOYLIFE88]

anyone have any experience with dating or breaking up with a chick who had BPD? I've always been able to get over breakups pretty quickly but it's been two months on this one and Im still pretty fucked up.

Part of the problem is Ive dated so many women and none have come close to the initial high I felt in the beginning honeymoon stages as with my most recent ex.

She's tried reaching me numerous times. I know she's toxic for me but I'd be lying if it's not an everyday battle to not get back with her. Having her around it was almost like a drug for me.
IDK Im making this thread,,,,maybe if there is a guy in a relationship with a chick like this I can help him get out. Wouldn't mind hearing some stories either Im sure some of you have dated women like this before


How a Borderline Personality Disorder Love Relationship Evolves - Roger Melton, M.A.

 

[Scotte0057]

In the past if I had a type, it was bi-polar girls. I came from a very dysfunctional household and got addicted to the high that you're talking about. It took me DECADES of dating the wrong women and therapy to understand that the high you're experiencing is not love or anything healthy for you. What you're experiencing is the high point of what they call "peaks and valleys" or the manic stage of BPD.

The problem is that even knowing this, I still struggle. For instance now I'm in a relationship with a nice midwestern girl. She's a doctor going through residency AND pursuing a biochem masters, all while training for marathons. Somehow she still finds the time to hang out with me. She's funny, sweet and has a great family.

To me that is boring as hell.

Part of me would much rather be with my alcoholic opera singer ex who would neglect her priorities, get blackout drunk regularly, and expect me to take care of her. All the while never acknowledging that I was important to her at all. When she was on, she was amazing and was better than any drug I've ever experienced. But the majority of the time she was a narcissistic, cold bitch. The sex was INCREDIBLE.

Fortunately I'm getting better at controlling my demons. I've learned to stay away from the evil ex, and I'm putting more effort into this amazing woman that is so much better than I am.

The heart wants what the heart wants, but the trick is to let your brain make the decisions once in a while. Your heart (and your dick) will typically lead you to trouble.

Stay strong enjoylife88, don't let that toxic bitch back into your life. No matter how good she made you feel, it's not worth it and you'll find better.

Thats my story

 

[xxxLGxxx]

It seems like the denominator is the amazing sex. Once we have that we tend to overlook everything else. At least for a while...

 

[ajdos]

Sounds like my ex, 3 years and she still wont go away.

 

[ENJOYLIFE88]

In the past if I had a type, it was bi-polar girls. I came from a very dysfunctional household and got addicted to the high that you're talking about. It took me DECADES of dating the wrong women and therapy to understand that the high you're experiencing is not love or anything healthy for you. What you're experiencing is the high point of what they call "peaks and valleys" or the manic stage of BPD.

The problem is that even knowing this, I still struggle. For instance now I'm in a relationship with a nice midwestern girl. She's a doctor going through residency AND pursuing a biochem masters, all while training for marathons. Somehow she still finds the time to hang out with me. She's funny, sweet and has a great family.

To me that is boring as hell.

Part of me would much rather be with my alcoholic opera singer ex who would neglect her priorities, get blackout drunk regularly, and expect me to take care of her. All the while never acknowledging that I was important to her at all. When she was on, she was amazing and was better than any drug I've ever experienced. But the majority of the time she was a narcissistic, cold bitch. The sex was INCREDIBLE.

Fortunately I'm getting better at controlling my demons. I've learned to stay away from the evil ex, and I'm putting more effort into this amazing woman that is so much better than I am.

The heart wants what the heart wants, but the trick is to let your brain make the decisions once in a while. Your heart (and your dick) will typically lead you to trouble.

Stay strong enjoylife88, don't let that toxic bitch back into your life. No matter how good she made you feel, it's not worth it and you'll find better.

Thats my story

Glad to hear your doing well. It's scary really because these women are usually so good at hiding their flaws and are almost always exceptionally attractive by the time you find out what's behind the mask you've already fallen for her spell.
The sex like you said- incredible and willing to do anything. But at the end of the day they're no different then pedophile, emotional vampires who look for their next victim and literally suck the life out of you.

 

[CHAPS]

Glad to hear your doing well. It's scary really because these women are usually so good at hiding their flaws and are almost always exceptionally attractive by the time you find out what's behind the mask you've already fallen for her spell.
The sex like you said- incredible and willing to do anything. But at the end of the day they're no different then pedophile, emotional vampires who look for their next victim and literally suck the life out of you.

I know this all too well, I've never been so fucked up over a women in all my life, just completely toxic. The sex kept roping me back in, she was down for just about anything at anytime, I've never met anyone quite like that. It got really toxic really fast and I started to see her true colors, the head games and manipulation etc. Get the hell away from her, change your number if you have to. You are right it does feel drug like.

 

[Cosmo]

my buddy went to a mental ward a few years ago and when i visited him, he told me how he walked in on like 6 women having a crazy lesbo orgy, i was like holy shit! to bad he is actually gay or he coulda had a night to remember since they offered if he wanted to join in!

 

[xxxLGxxx]

Any of you guys seen the crazy hot matrix on YouTube? Very entertaining and relevant

 

[Jefe]

My story is very similar to the other ones posted so I won't repeat it.

I had to block her on Facebook, block her phone number, and just cut all ties with mutual friends. 100% removal from my life.

And amazing sex was also a factor. lol. :banghead:

Ultimately, she was toxic and I just can't have her in my life at any level. And I'm better off for it. I doubted myself at first, but after 2 years, I know I made the right decision to cut ties.

Good luck to you sir.

 

[ENJOYLIFE88]

I know this all too well, I've never been so fucked up over a women in all my life, just completely toxic. The sex kept roping me back in, she was down for just about anything at anytime, I've never met anyone quite like that. It got really toxic really fast and I started to see her true colors, the head games and manipulation etc. Get the hell away from her, change your number if you have to. You are right it does feel drug like.

It all comes down to survival bro. BPD is a mental illness, usually caused from the poor relationship with the mother in most cases. Like every parasite they need a host, you'll notice these bitches the bed never goes cold, always a rebound relationship and always another man...they don't feel guilt like normal people and they don't grieve relationships like normal people because they're too busy focusing on their next victim.

I personally tried to get out about a month and a half in, she faked a pregnancy with me. The scary part is it was a legitimate phantom pregnancy, she actually convinced herself she was pregnant.

 

[sluggy]

It all comes down to survival bro. BPD is a mental illness, usually caused from the poor relationship with the mother in most cases. Like every parasite they need a host, you'll notice these bitches the bed never goes cold, always a rebound relationship and always another man...they don't feel guilt like normal people and they don't grieve relationships like normal people because they're too busy focusing on their next victim.

I personally tried to get out about a month and a half in, she faked a pregnancy with me. The scary part is it was a legitimate phantom pregnancy, she actually convinced herself she was pregnant.

Whoa, I didn't see this thread before. I had a BPD exgf and it's eerily similar.

 

[little slice]

could it be.. that all of you guys are talking about the same girl? :headbang:

 

[Designbuilt]

Sounds like my ex, 3 years and she still wont go away.

ha! you know why cause she's still go this day bashing your tiny 3 inch cock by 1 of girth... just saying... stop crying so much....

I suggest you go fag.. i'd be happy to cum in your gay ass... bitch... little bitch ass greek adjos... that's why they invented anal, your dicks are just way to small and faggot bitch...

 

[Designbuilt]

*too

 

[ENJOYLIFE88]

I know this all too well, I've never been so fucked up over a women in all my life, just completely toxic. The sex kept roping me back in, she was down for just about anything at anytime, I've never met anyone quite like that. It got really toxic really fast and I started to see her true colors, the head games and manipulation etc. Get the hell away from her, change your number if you have to. You are right it does feel drug like.

I'm actually surprised there aren't more guys who have suffered from toxic relationships with these women on a bodybuilding board. Women with BPD will actually seek out narcissist men because they literally make the perfect host and while the condition is rare it's not that rare. I believe it occurs in about 10% of US women.

My theory is BPD women tend to be very dependent and we like the idea of a woman being dependent on us, it feeds our narcissism. This is one of the reasons why it feels so drug like. Our need to be bigger and stronger than the average male goes hand in hand with wanting to play captainsaveahoe.

 

[Jefe]

Are we talking about Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder?

Forgive my dumb question.

 

[ENJOYLIFE88]

Are we talking about Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder?

Forgive my dumb question.

Borderline.

 

[anarchocapitalist]

I've been married to one for 15 years.

The most important thing is setting relationship boundaries so you don't lose yourself.

Most BPD wives have husbands who are people pleasers. Let her fall. Let her reap what she sows. Don't make excuses for her crazy behavior.

Keep a journal of whats going on. BPD women can turn you upside down so quickly you don't know which way is up.

Understanding that she feels emotions esp fearing abandonment at a hyper level causing the I hate you followed by the don't leave me attitude.

BPD women are emotionally stunted over their past.

 

[Cerberus777]

Are we talking about Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder?

Forgive my dumb question.

The difference in behavior isn't very much. Borderline doesn't respond to medication, and tends to be more toxic....but I've attracted both. And they both will mess your world up if untreated.

 

[Cerberus777]

What's not to love, best sex ever,adventurous, charming, magnetic personality....she'll just blame you for everything. Argue all the time, and might shank you in your sleep.

You're out of the relationship. Consider your self a recovering addict, and stay away, you want what isnt good for you...I'm speaking from experience here.