o/t- am I crossing the line?

[raw33man]

Break up with her. Don't try to change her

 

[j4ever]

some funny shit in this thread, to the op, man personally I could not be in a committed relationship with someone that was a smoker, that is a no go for me, good luck with your epic funk battle, LMAO.

 

[little slice]

yeah fuck smoking. id hard next her.





be glad that she didn't wait til after the marriage contract was signed to completely change.

 

[shadowz19788]

You are just giving into her frame by responding. If it's that big of a deal to you kick her to the curb. Stop being her bitch and sack up. Get your balls back

Sent from my SM-T530NU using Tapatalk

 

[alfresco]

my opinion

I have not read all the responses. Don’t want to taint my opinion.

I usually don’t reply to these posts but your solution is so obvious to me and should be moved to the counselling-forum (here)
I’m taking a soft touch stab at it, such as it is, as there is two sides to every story . . .

In my opinion, your reaction, in effect your way of dealing with this ‘problem’ is immature and does not promote a mutually
agreeable response and solution.

A sit down, no drug / alcohol induced (not saying you or she would) honest, heart felt response to her current behavior is in
order. Lay all your cards on the table . . . action and consequences with teeth . . . meaning do what you say and say what you
mean and go from there. Be prepared to walk away or provide support for a limited amount of time. Tough love. If you are
not prepared, in my opinion, then you have nothing to complain about or wait until it is a better time, only you will know. Good luck.

So . . . when it gets bad enough, like in all relationships, health issues, ect. . . . you will step to the plate and do something.
Until then it is all talk.

I wish you all the best towards a peaceful and mutually agreeable solution. I feel for you.

Happy Holidays.

alfresco

first off- let me start by saying that I work from home by myself.

ok, so recently my gf of three years has started smoking again. she was vaping for like two years which I was fine with but decided to go back to regular cigarettes. well, the smell on her of cigarettes is really killing me. I have bad allergies and it really sets them off. I told her about this about its not registering with her anymore.

so this week I decided not to shower at all so she can deal with an obnoxious smell. I already told her what I was doing and obviously she's disgusted by it but I get really disgusted my heavy cigarette smell.

remember I work from home so I have no co workers to offend. I fully expect to be single after this weekend, but I really hate the smell of cigarette smoke.

oh and also, I have been wearing the same clothes since Monday. including my underwear.

 

[powerof2]

Lol that's awesome


110% or expect to regret it!

 

[Pekkerwood]

I have not read all the responses. Don’t want to taint my opinion.

I usually don’t reply to these posts but your solution is so obvious to me and should be moved to the counselling-forum (here)
I’m taking a soft touch stab at it, such as it is, as there is two sides to every story . . .

In my opinion, your reaction, in effect your way of dealing with this ‘problem’ is immature and does not promote a mutually
agreeable response and solution.

A sit down, no drug / alcohol induced (not saying you or she would) honest, heart felt response to her current behavior is in
order. Lay all your cards on the table . . . action and consequences with teeth . . . meaning do what you say and say what you
mean and go from there. Be prepared to walk away or provide support for a limited amount of time. Tough love. If you are
not prepared, in my opinion, then you have nothing to complain about or wait until it is a better time, only you will know. Good luck.

So . . . when it gets bad enough, like in all relationships, health issues, ect. . . . you will step to the plate and do something.
Until then it is all talk.

I wish you all the best towards a peaceful and mutually agreeable solution. I feel for you.

Happy Holidays.

alfresco

This is exactly why I have never like Alfresco. Ever. I go on this site after a day of work and want to forget I'm 54, I am grown man, responsible, mature, caring, and helpful to others. This posters response was "funny" to me.

And there goes Alfresco having to be insightful, kind, and correct. And, oh yeah, making me feel bad about my immature feelings. Way to go Alfresco! LOL

Pekkerwood

 

[Phidias]

Matt,

Did you at least try to understand why after two years off, she all of a sudden felt the need to get back on tobacco again?

Not to take her side, but usually such behavior hides a major problem, often linked to depression. So instead of egoistically think about you and you only, why don't you take some time to properly talk with your gf and ask what's going so wrong at the moment she had to start smoking again?

Well... anyway, when something as futile as a cigarette can lead someone to want to break free, it's definitely that there's not enough love anymore in that couple...

 

[sodzl]

About 90percent of the people that I know that vape have at some point gone back to cigarettes. Would never date a girl that vapes or smokes again. Dated a smoker for three years,never realized how disgusting it was until I dated a non smoker afterwards.

 

[Plan Z]

She obviously doesn't care that much about you if she's doing something that hurts you. I would probably guess she's passive aggressive... She's looking for you to brake it off with her instead of the other way around. She can't be the bad guy (in her mind). Went through the same thing with my ex. Sucks but it's way easier to end it now rather than waiting to come home and she's hanging out with a male work "friend"....

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[Fehoister]

Day 7..

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Talk to the girl. What's with all the theatrics? Sort of childish to

a. not talk about it
b. have a stinky temper tantrum about it

Speaks volumes to the level of maturity in this relationship.

 

[Kalatu_Pharma]

Talk to the girl. What's with all the theatrics? Sort of childish to

a. not talk about it
b. have a stinky temper tantrum about it

Speaks volumes to the level of maturity in this relationship.

Although me and my wife had a giant laugh about it, and some of the comments were funny/selfish. I totally agree here with OTH.. 3 years of your life together and this is how you want it to end? I mean if your expecting it to end then you obviously don't care anyway. But imagine some of your own bad habits, if a person told you to change something and you refused, how you feel if she didn't wash her twat for a week? Actually a woman probably wouldnt do something as discusting as that. On the other hand, it's some funny shit I'll make some popcorn.. Subbed

 

[trainlikeaboss]

No offense but that seems immature to me. I would be very direct about it. I hate the smell of stale cigarettes and I wouldn't even be able to share a bed with someone who smelled like that. Also, I'm a very hygienic person and I absolutely could not stand going without showering or changing clothes unless I had to.

 

[Massive G]

Talk to the girl. What's with all the theatrics? Sort of childish to

a. not talk about it
b. have a stinky temper tantrum about it

Speaks volumes to the level of maturity in this relationship.

I agree here. I have dated tons of girls that smoke and drink, these days it's really great as smoking is banned everywhere.
They never smoked around me directly in the car or at the house.

They were all fine with me taking a needle to my glutes, so I was cool with a vice or two as long as they treated me well and had a good relationship.
I have at times in my younger years did smokeless tobacco, and understand how powerful nicotine can be. I am not sure if you are serious about bad hygiene but your setting yourself up for some nasty skin conditions and immune reactions.

 

[Jefe]

The patch is good. Patch with nicotine gum is great.

Don't underestimate the power of open communication.

Good luck.

PS... wash your ass. lol