.gif "IP Gear")
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2002
- Messages
- 2,559
First of all thank you to Iabadman for starting that thread for me,and to each and every one of you that posted and sent me well wishes.It put tears in my eyes but a smile on my face knowing my brothers are always here for me.I love you guys.
2 weeks ago,it seemed I was at my peak. 245 jacked and strong as shit,best shape I have ever been in (not highest bodyweight,but best overall package)My lower abs were my last problem,as that was where my fat was.I trained Monday,had a slight fever,didnt feel great but still kicked ass in the gym.Tuesday I rested and then fateful Wednesday came along.
I woke up with what I thought was a stomach pain,nothing major but it got progressively worse as the day went on.I was going to train at about 4 PM so I hoped my pain was just "shit" related.But after a regular bowel movement the pain was still there.Around 1PM I started getting hot and sweaty,and nauseas.About 2PM I had to lay down,so I get in bed.The pain now is getting unbearable.The center of my abdomen,right where the sternum ends down my right side,is like a knife in me.I roll off the bed and try to throw up but cannot.Im on my knees now doubled over in pain.I literally can't do a fucking thing but hold onto my stomach.Finally I reach for the phone and call my mother,tell her whats going on and to get an ambulance to me NOW.
She gets to my place,which is only a few blocks away,helps me get clothes on,helps me sit in a chair,and waits with me for the ambulance.Within minutes 5-6 paramedics are in my apartment,checking me over etc. etc. I do not know if it was adrenaline or what but I was able to walk to the ambulance.Once I get in there I lay down,and boom,all the pain returns and the ride to the hospital is pure hell,they must have hit every pothole.My mom is with me,and the look on her face is pure sadness and pain,I feel so bad that she is going through this.
Once in the emergency room,I lay there for a good 2 hours before anything gets done(this is a Brooklyn hospital,the worst possible)My girl arrives,same look in her face as my mom,the both of them have to see me like this.Finally,I get an IV,I get a sonogram.I hear them talking about liver,no its bowel,well it could be liver.They have no fucking clue!!!
They roll me out of there and get me ready for a catscan,but before they do this,its time for an EKG.They hook me up,the nurse says"are you feeling ok" Doctors rush over."Umm sir,it appears you are on the verge of a massive heart attack" My girl and mom are hysterical,Im in fucking shock.The doctor says they have to transfer me to a hospital in NYC that specializes in heart conditions,because I may need a stent put in.30 years old and I need a fucking stent?Anyway,my mom and girl are all fucked up CRYING,im destroyed and wait to be carted away.
Finally,they get me to the other hospital after another pothole ride from hell.The pain in my side has never stopped and has gotten even worse.Im basically half unconscious now.They rush me iin and perform the test where they run dye through the artery in your groin through your heart.I dont feel shit,but Im laying there fucking naked,with tubes and monitors and every fucking thing imaginable.They take me in to my room in intensive care after the procedure.I go to sleep.They wake me its about 4 in the morning Thursday,my mom and girl are with me,and the docs explain that my heart is fine,no problems BUT they noticed ALOT of bleeding around my liver.
Im prepped for a catscan then surgery.It turns out I had a massive hematoma of the liver and it burst.They go in through the artery of my groin again and somehow(they mentioned a foam) blocked off all the blood flow to that part of my liver.
The way the doctor described it is that after heavy steroid usage,especially orals,pools of blood form in the liver.Could be one or many,And as they grow,its like a water balloon,they burst.This is what happened to me
.
I ended up losing about 5 pints of blood total over 3 days time.I had blood put back into me for those 3 days.I was in critical condition for that time,and I was very lucky in the end.Alittle longer and I would have bled to death,or my liver would have just shut down and died.Best case I would have needed a liver transplant.But thankfully it was caught in time.
I did not eat anything for 6 days.I was a fucking mess.On day 7 things drasticlly improved.I was able to sit up,and eat.First liquids,then solids on day 9.My liver values improved.My eyes became crystal clear.I felt better.But I still had alot of pain,which was common.My abdomen swelled up during this time,very big.Im talking very distended,from all the blood and fluid that built up in there.My upper body mass,disapeared,it looks like I never lifted a weight.
Total weight loss after this is almost 30lbs !!! I was able to come home this weekend,because my condition improved.But I am limited to alot of rest and very little activity.It will be a few weeks until I am able to go out and do anything.It will be awhile until I can even think about the gym.The next month will be full of blood tests and MRIs.And I will not know the full extent of the damage I did to myself until alot of the fluid is reabsorbed in my abdomen.
I did not feel good for awhile before this happened,but I thought it was cycle related.I definetly over did this,my cycle was
60-100mg Dbol/day
100mg tren/day
100mg prop/day
and this was for at least 2 months.
Again,I did this to myself.I blame nobody and I am not looking for sympathy.I just want you guys to be aware of what can happen.I neglected getting blood work for about 2 years now.I took a ton of creatine while on cycle.I just had the more is better attitude and that I was invincible.Well guess what,none of us is superman.
If you fuck up with this lifestyle it will catch up to you.I am the perfect example.I will never preach against steroids,BUT Goddamn it listen to these older guys that say moderate cycles are better.Everything in moderation.I thought it would never happen to me,but it did.
Please,brothers,listen to me,and listen to the wise vets on here.I cried when I walked out of the hosptial,because I thought I was going to die,and yet,I walked out on my own 2 feet.I was given a second chance and there is no looking back.Im not out of the woods yet,the many tests I have to take will determine that,but IM ALIVE.
30 LBS of muscle lost is heartbreaking,and the way I look right now is depressing as hell.But the look on my girls face,the looks on my friends and family's faces,I never want to see that again.I will fight back at this,and I will return to the gym.But my steroid days are over.My health,my family,and my girl are more important to me.Life is more important to me.
Please brothers,look at what you are doing,and make sure you are making the right decisions.Get your bloodwork and realize that what happened to me can happen to anyone of you.God bless,and I look forward to your responses.......
BN
2 weeks ago,it seemed I was at my peak. 245 jacked and strong as shit,best shape I have ever been in (not highest bodyweight,but best overall package)My lower abs were my last problem,as that was where my fat was.I trained Monday,had a slight fever,didnt feel great but still kicked ass in the gym.Tuesday I rested and then fateful Wednesday came along.
I woke up with what I thought was a stomach pain,nothing major but it got progressively worse as the day went on.I was going to train at about 4 PM so I hoped my pain was just "shit" related.But after a regular bowel movement the pain was still there.Around 1PM I started getting hot and sweaty,and nauseas.About 2PM I had to lay down,so I get in bed.The pain now is getting unbearable.The center of my abdomen,right where the sternum ends down my right side,is like a knife in me.I roll off the bed and try to throw up but cannot.Im on my knees now doubled over in pain.I literally can't do a fucking thing but hold onto my stomach.Finally I reach for the phone and call my mother,tell her whats going on and to get an ambulance to me NOW.
She gets to my place,which is only a few blocks away,helps me get clothes on,helps me sit in a chair,and waits with me for the ambulance.Within minutes 5-6 paramedics are in my apartment,checking me over etc. etc. I do not know if it was adrenaline or what but I was able to walk to the ambulance.Once I get in there I lay down,and boom,all the pain returns and the ride to the hospital is pure hell,they must have hit every pothole.My mom is with me,and the look on her face is pure sadness and pain,I feel so bad that she is going through this.
Once in the emergency room,I lay there for a good 2 hours before anything gets done(this is a Brooklyn hospital,the worst possible)My girl arrives,same look in her face as my mom,the both of them have to see me like this.Finally,I get an IV,I get a sonogram.I hear them talking about liver,no its bowel,well it could be liver.They have no fucking clue!!!
They roll me out of there and get me ready for a catscan,but before they do this,its time for an EKG.They hook me up,the nurse says"are you feeling ok" Doctors rush over."Umm sir,it appears you are on the verge of a massive heart attack" My girl and mom are hysterical,Im in fucking shock.The doctor says they have to transfer me to a hospital in NYC that specializes in heart conditions,because I may need a stent put in.30 years old and I need a fucking stent?Anyway,my mom and girl are all fucked up CRYING,im destroyed and wait to be carted away.
Finally,they get me to the other hospital after another pothole ride from hell.The pain in my side has never stopped and has gotten even worse.Im basically half unconscious now.They rush me iin and perform the test where they run dye through the artery in your groin through your heart.I dont feel shit,but Im laying there fucking naked,with tubes and monitors and every fucking thing imaginable.They take me in to my room in intensive care after the procedure.I go to sleep.They wake me its about 4 in the morning Thursday,my mom and girl are with me,and the docs explain that my heart is fine,no problems BUT they noticed ALOT of bleeding around my liver.
Im prepped for a catscan then surgery.It turns out I had a massive hematoma of the liver and it burst.They go in through the artery of my groin again and somehow(they mentioned a foam) blocked off all the blood flow to that part of my liver.
The way the doctor described it is that after heavy steroid usage,especially orals,pools of blood form in the liver.Could be one or many,And as they grow,its like a water balloon,they burst.This is what happened to me
.
I ended up losing about 5 pints of blood total over 3 days time.I had blood put back into me for those 3 days.I was in critical condition for that time,and I was very lucky in the end.Alittle longer and I would have bled to death,or my liver would have just shut down and died.Best case I would have needed a liver transplant.But thankfully it was caught in time.
I did not eat anything for 6 days.I was a fucking mess.On day 7 things drasticlly improved.I was able to sit up,and eat.First liquids,then solids on day 9.My liver values improved.My eyes became crystal clear.I felt better.But I still had alot of pain,which was common.My abdomen swelled up during this time,very big.Im talking very distended,from all the blood and fluid that built up in there.My upper body mass,disapeared,it looks like I never lifted a weight.
Total weight loss after this is almost 30lbs !!! I was able to come home this weekend,because my condition improved.But I am limited to alot of rest and very little activity.It will be a few weeks until I am able to go out and do anything.It will be awhile until I can even think about the gym.The next month will be full of blood tests and MRIs.And I will not know the full extent of the damage I did to myself until alot of the fluid is reabsorbed in my abdomen.
I did not feel good for awhile before this happened,but I thought it was cycle related.I definetly over did this,my cycle was
60-100mg Dbol/day
100mg tren/day
100mg prop/day
and this was for at least 2 months.
Again,I did this to myself.I blame nobody and I am not looking for sympathy.I just want you guys to be aware of what can happen.I neglected getting blood work for about 2 years now.I took a ton of creatine while on cycle.I just had the more is better attitude and that I was invincible.Well guess what,none of us is superman.
If you fuck up with this lifestyle it will catch up to you.I am the perfect example.I will never preach against steroids,BUT Goddamn it listen to these older guys that say moderate cycles are better.Everything in moderation.I thought it would never happen to me,but it did.
Please,brothers,listen to me,and listen to the wise vets on here.I cried when I walked out of the hosptial,because I thought I was going to die,and yet,I walked out on my own 2 feet.I was given a second chance and there is no looking back.Im not out of the woods yet,the many tests I have to take will determine that,but IM ALIVE.
30 LBS of muscle lost is heartbreaking,and the way I look right now is depressing as hell.But the look on my girls face,the looks on my friends and family's faces,I never want to see that again.I will fight back at this,and I will return to the gym.But my steroid days are over.My health,my family,and my girl are more important to me.Life is more important to me.
Please brothers,look at what you are doing,and make sure you are making the right decisions.Get your bloodwork and realize that what happened to me can happen to anyone of you.God bless,and I look forward to your responses.......
BN
